The Underlying Blog

I’VE MOVED TO KyleMcFarlin.com, FOLLOW ME NOW

After years of sometimes reliable, sometimes flaky, always smart-ass blogging, I have moved completely to KyleMcFarlin.com. I was going to do it anyhow, but then Microsoft went and cancelled their 'MS Office Live Small Business' service so I just went ahead and did it now. In fact, not only am I moving my blog to there but VisualStrategist.com will also redirect to there, making me fully established at 'Kyle McFarlin.com'. Want to talk about massive ego synchronization... you're welcome 8-) .

The website is a work in progress. Think of it like the Death Star in 'Jedi'. The laser cannon works, but there are still condominiums to install. And hopefully pissed off people in bowl cuts and teddy bear costumes don't band together to blow my ass up. But if they do, I’m ready.

So anywho, please take a moment and add my new blog to your favorite reader:

Visit KyleMcFarlin.com now

And while you're there, take a moment and add me on your favorite social media networks, which are linked at the new site:

Visit KyleMcFarlin.com now

And if that weren't enough, you can sign-up for the Kyle McFarlin newsletter at the new website (if you already signed up for the Visual Strategist newsletter, you're good as it is the exact same newsletter from the exact same person, under a different title).

Visit KyleMcFarlin.com now

Thank you for your years of loyal readership (If it's not true, I'll never catch you), and please enjoy my new website / blog. I will be getting pretty unhinged when everything gets going, but you will never personally be in danger, and that's everything. Think of me like a nerdy Charles Barkley who can't ball (maybe not as witty either). But certainly as smart-assed. Again, you're welcome.

Go Kyle!

 

Visit KyleMcFarlin.com now

I’m busy = blog on hold for a while

For the next months I will likely not be blogging. Good to be busy and sorry about that.

My Gift to You: Look Leggy in Leggings not Lumpy

Ladies,

I come to you today with a serious topic of discussion. There is still time to save things. If you act now. Here goes…

You need to think very, very, very carefully about the leggings as pants ladies. And just to be clear, I’m referring specifically to leggings worn as pants, not as part of an outfit where they fit the role of panty hose or something like that. And before you accuse me of wanting the fairer sex in beekeeper’s suits, let me unequivocally state that I enjoy shorts, skirts, even skorts, sweat pants (selectively), sweat shorts, jogging shorts, bikinis, mini-skirts and of course Victoria’s Secret (had to be a tramp stamp). Kyle’s a pig! Who woulda thunk it? [BTW, thanks again for throwing the VS Christmas catalogue away Jeff, good buddy old friend: Now how do I shop for my imaginary gorgeous girlfriend for Christmas?] So now that I’ve established myself as a lusty, chesty guy (think Beauty & the Beast’s Gaston with less muscles and even less accent)…….. holy shit, what is with the leggings without thought of the consequences? I can’t put my finger on what it is that bothers me about them at times. Girls have been wearing skinny jeans forever – I like those. But with leggings, at best the girl deserves to fly herself onto Ibiza in a pink fighter jet with a ‘Mission Accomplished’ banner fluttering in the background… other times the girl misses the island entirely and kills a whale.

(Go Pippa! I approve.)

But there’s something about leggings that are just so… hit or miss. And I can’t even find any trend to the pattern. It’s not a skinny or a curvy thing because some of both succeed and fail in leggings. Like if you think of jeans, basically, everyone looks good in them. But leggings are a different animal entirely. I’ve seen women who could walk runways wearing leggings and looking like strange giraffes for it. And I’ve seen women who I wouldn’t notice a second time turn into Goddesses in leggings. They do strange things to straight-aways and curves… we must strategize…

Actions You Can Take to Make Leggings Your Friend (or at Least Frenemy)

So let me restate, some women do look good in leggings, even epic... You just need to know if you're one of them.  So use the following to ensure there is nothing lumpy or camelly about your holiday swagger, just sweetness like a latte.

1. Check yourself out in leggings - what do you think? Look back and front. That’s right, use the honest mirror, the one you hate for it. Be truthful with yourself. If you’re impressed, proceed to step 2, if not, proceed to step 4.
2. Ask a girlfriend you know will tell you straight up for an opinion of you in leggings. If honest chica gives thumbs up, proceed to step 3. If not, proceed to step 4. 
3. Ask a guy who is in no way dependent on you for the good lovin' and is known for bluntness how you look in leggings. Press him and let him know that no food will be withheld for his candor. If he gives thumbs up, move to step 5. If he doesn’t, move to step 4.
4. Landing Spot 1: Wear yoga pants instead. If you want the leggings look and you still want there to be some mystery about…errr… your calves… yoga pants are where it’s at. All the hotness and they don’t tend to make girls look weird.
5. Landing Spot 2: Wear the leggings and be confident. You earned it because you passed through my steps, Candyland-style. Just try to stay calm if a guy stares because merchandise is being paraded Vegas-style: It’s like when a girl has a paragraph across her chest or butt: I’ve earned the right to read.

Because I haven’t talked about mind mapping much for awhile (even though I’m dealing with it professionally more than ever) I would have liked to in this post, but I just can’t talk about it right now… but wait for it.

So I hope I’ve given the ladies the ultimate gift of looking hot for the Holidays… you’re welcome.

 

Happy Holidays!

Go Kyle!

What do you think?

Leave a comment below and let me know.

 

(NOTE: Thank you Mandi for helping me think this issue through and the yoga pants idea.)

Two Ton Middle Finger Spotted

 

The Jackass or Not?

The following happened somewhere in the vicinity of 1 year ago.

I was driving through North Central Ohio on a nice summer day. Wind in my hair, Backstreet Boys Lil Wayne bumping, all that stuff… When what should emerge in front of me on the road? Why its a pickup truck loudly branded with the logo of a local realtor. Not only a local realty company mind you but a local realtor who has featured HIMSELF as the brand… on the side of his truck. I mean, we’re talking about one of those guys who puts his mugshot everywhere he can. And here’s the kicker. Are you ready for it? Here we go: Whoever was driving it was in full-on asshole mode. Not the kind where you get the feeling they're on their way to the hospital to have a baby. No, the kind where they believe they are king of the road and you’re just lucky to be a witness to it. And we Ohioans are weary of being witnesses, believe me.

Now I actually thought of not telling the story because I can no longer remember the details of what made it such interesting asshole driving. Who wants to read about a sucky driver when you can't even remember any of the Smoky and the Bandit-esque details, right? Then I was thunderstruck this morning with the realization that THAT is the message to tell you: I can't remember the experience all that well, it’s just one of those consolidated memories you carry around with you… What I do remember and will take with me forever is the logo on the side of the truck and the local realtor who was forever branded in my mind by professional-grade, jolly jackass driving techniques.

So, let's recap. The message on the side of the truck read something like: ‘Hi I’m Jon Doe, I can afford to have a pickup truck custom painted. Also, I’m a good looking guy so here’s my face to boot. Further, I can afford a plush truck payment, which means I am reliable and can get things done. So you should list your house with me and/or buy one from me!’ Great message, bring on the 50’s ranch. On the other hand, whoever was driving the company pickup truck, be it the person themselves, an employee or family member, essentially was saying this through a blowhorn on behalf of the realtor: 'Hi I'm Jon Doe. I don’t care what you think about me or my company and to show you that, I’m going to drive like Grand Theft Auto and to hell with your family and your safety. To sum it all up, enjoy the view of my dual middle finger salute and have a super swell day bitches!'

Look, you may be wondering why I'm not naming the realtor in question. Fact is, I don't know him personally, indeed a d-baggish employee or family member could have been driving the pickup. Hell, maybe his son or daughter just got their license and grabbed the truck without him even knowing. So I don’t know the situation and it may have never happened again…

Nevertheless though, Jon Doe the realtor has a problem. His market is a relatively small town and I thought it through more than most people would: Most people would just assume it’s him driving. And that’s really bad because people make split second decisions all the time, and anyone who saw the guy and didn’t think it through would never consider taking their business to him.

So here are some tips to follow if you’re thinking of making yourself into the visible brand when your driving around town bumping.

Jackass Avoidance Tips

· Tip 1: Look, don't stick your brand or picture on a vehicle unless you plan on driving like you're taking the Queen and her purple hat wearing friends out to the early bird special. I'm not claiming driver sainthood, I'm just claiming I'm not going to put my marketing message on my damn vehicle unless I'm going to drive like I have a halo over my car.

· Tip 2: And even if you do vow to drive like a saint and consequently put your branding on your Hummer... don't ever, ever ever EVER let anyone drive it who will not uphold the message you want to convey to prospects and customers. Because the second that vehicle is seen swerving after leaving a bar at 3 in the afternoon... who knows... your brand could be tarnished. All anyone sees is YOU drunk, even if it's someone else driving the vehicle.

· Tip 3: If you are in an edgy business of some sort, some of this may not apply to you. For instance if you are selling energy drinks, then it's better you look awake when you drive... Still, there is a colossal difference between looking awake and peppy, and driving like a living middle finger.

What do you think? Am I being too judgmental or am I right?

Technorati Tags: Kyle McFarlin,Realty,Ohio

The Way of Rabbits or Philosopher Kings?

I've had this nagging thought over the last few years. If human progress keeps up its pace, and we don't do anything overly self-destructive as a species, there should be an abundance tipping point before Captain Kirk is born.

At which point, do we go the way of rabbits or philosopher kings?

(My Answer: Who cares, I'm going to Burger King.)

{not paid to say that but should've been}

Ponder that as it will be a couple of weeks before my next post.

Technorati tags: The Tipping Point, Philosophy, Kyle McFarlin, Visual Strategist, Humor, Burger King

The Year of Amish Recruitment: 3 Tips to Fight Future Shock

I've noticed something in 2007: A lot of people making jokes to me about ditching all of their technology, a great deal more than in 2005 or 2006. Could it be the stress of upgrading to Windows Vista, could it be the technology has turned into the Glenn Close stalker from Fatal Attraction?

As I live an hour away from one of the largest Amish communities in the United States, the temptation is EXTREME for me.

And I've got to admit folks, even after releasing a system of life management, VSS, I feel it sometimes too, the desire to go to something simpler and something more pure. Like damn, are we becoming the Borg?

I even get sick of the efficiency of GTD sometimes. Remember when crap used to just go into a big pile... And you kept on ignoring it even when forest creatures made homes in it? Do I see torches and pitchforks in the distance?

Strange world, that those I speak to, Early Adopters on any scale, would reminisce of a simpler time. Is it future shock, or are we finally noticing that there is NO GOING BACK? I think it's the latter.

So, here are 3 tips to fight the shock of no going back:

1. Turn it ALL off on Saturday or Sunday. I know, it follows you, so pick a day and broadcast ferociously to always on co-workers that you're gone on Saturday/Sunday. Seriously, create the space in your life for one day to yourself or with loved ones, where the technology truly doesn't find you. You may just get frisky or find inner-peace... UNINTERRUPTED!!! To put it succinctly, the online world can go to hell one day a week.
2. Check e-mail on your terms, not theirs. I've seen numerous bloggers over the years recommend you turn off Outlook e-mail notifications, and they're all right. And Crackberries... they're great, but the same rules need to apply, even more so. Of all the people who venture toward the edge of Stephen King's classic line from The Shining movie: 'All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy', the Crackberry addicts teeter the most toward drone oblivion.
3. Use a Moleskine to record your thoughts. My buddy Mark Hollander put me onto this, and I'd still say it's the closest I come to feeling like Thoreau at Walden Pond. Sorry Tablet makers, you just haven't come close yet.

And here's a little humor for you that was forwarded on to me from Rob Wendt:

Still want more humor / fascinating-from-nowhere reading, check out Heisenberg Fridays by Walter Terry at ROICopy.

Technorati tags: Technology, Future Shock, GTD, Blackberry, Crackberry, Stephen King, The Shining, Amish, Mark Hollander, Rob Wendt, Fatal Attraction, Gyronix, ResultsManager, MindManager, Visual Strategist, Visual Strategist Solution, VSS, Walter Terry, ROI Copywriting, Henry Thoreau, Walden Pond, Tablet PC, Mindjet

Happy 4th of July Everyone!

I thought the blue shirt goes well with the holiday... now who's a better Mindjet MindManager fan?

                                           

And how hungry I am for the country delicacies of Independence Day... don't get in the way of my cheesy potatoes. Seriously. Don't.

Hope everyone has a great and safe holiday!

San Jose Mercury News - Google chafes at Vista

I'm a Windows user (gotta be for Mindjet MindManager 7 with ResultsManager), and was forced to upgrade to Vista in a malfunctioning computer mishap earlier this year... a bit more on that in a future post. Therefore, it's no surprise to me as a Google Desktop Search user in Vista that Google is angry at the way Vista Desktop Search is almost impossible to turn off if you don't have a Ph. D. in a related field. Take a look at the following article, which sets the stage for quite a war between two behemoths. Will this be as good as Bill Gates vs. Larry Ellison? We'll see...

San Jose Mercury News - Google chafes at Vista

NBA.com SCHEDULE: Cleveland Rising...

Didn't know Visual Strategist likes basketball?

I DO. Okay, so I know San Antonio is favored to win the NBA finals, but Hell hath no fury like Lebron James. Earlier this decade I watched my Alma Mater highschool play against him, so the bonds run deep.

On a sociological note, Cleveland, as a city has gone through a tough transition into the 21st century... and now you can sense it everywhere, from the coffee shop I'm sitting in to mood on the streets - THE PRIDE IS BACK. 

Here's a link to the NBA Finals schedule, so you can mark it in your calendar:

NBA.com SCHEDULE

On an unrelated note, I'm listening to U2's 'Where the Streets Have no Name' on repeat - incredible composition.

 

Technorati tags: Kyle McFarlin, Cleveland, Cleveland Cavaliers, NBA Finals

More from the Twilight Zone

Well, I thought an update was in order on my saga, no make that epic struggle to get a working computer. See my previous post for more. Just got off the phone with Beth, the HP caseworker who's now saved me twice, and Vista Home Premium 32-bit is finally on its way to me in the mail. But wait you ask, wasn't it supposed to be sent to you last week Kyle (Kyle your name rhymes with style)? Shouldn't you be using it NOW?

Not quite. You see, HP accidentally sent me Vista Home Basic, which I received on Monday. When I called in to complain, the support center told me it's not their policy to send Recovery DVDs for anything but the preinstalled OS (Vista Ultimate 64-bit in my case), so they're not allowed to fix the mistake and send the correct Recovery DVD. Yeah, that's great for me I told them: Now I'm supposed to be up creek because the guy who was willing to massage the rule to get me what I needed goofed? Naturally, I demanded an audience with his supervisor, who was helpful in setting me up with a promised call from a caseworker.

Yesterday (Tuesday) the caseworker Beth tried to reach me early in the day, but I missed her and was unable to reach her through the rest of the day.

Finally, today, things got resolved when Beth called. Beth, if this were a hip-hop album, this is your shout out for finally getting Home Premium 32-bit in the mail to me (Why doesn't HP offer Vista Ultimate 32-bit again?). It'll be fun to able to use my software again. 64-bit is cool, but I can't go without Itunes, which doesn't work on Vista 64-bit, not to mention Dragon Naturally Speaking.

It's taken me 3 days of calling through to different areas of HP Support to get this thing resolved. And only 9 weeks since the sound blew out on my original DV 9000 laptop. Scary stuff if you're doing business folks.

Okay, if you're thinking I'm spoiled for complaining, I know I'm lucky to even be having a problem at this level on Maslowe's hierarchy. Still, 10 weeks this will have taken when it's concluded. Damn, that ain't cool HP. I've been telling people to buy your stuff for years. I mean, I wore an Ipaq at my college graduation - I should be your flipping mascot. And then this... disappointed doesn't even begin to cover it.