The Underlying Blog

I’VE MOVED TO KyleMcFarlin.com, FOLLOW ME NOW

After years of sometimes reliable, sometimes flaky, always smart-ass blogging, I have moved completely to KyleMcFarlin.com. I was going to do it anyhow, but then Microsoft went and cancelled their 'MS Office Live Small Business' service so I just went ahead and did it now. In fact, not only am I moving my blog to there but VisualStrategist.com will also redirect to there, making me fully established at 'Kyle McFarlin.com'. Want to talk about massive ego synchronization... you're welcome 8-) .

The website is a work in progress. Think of it like the Death Star in 'Jedi'. The laser cannon works, but there are still condominiums to install. And hopefully pissed off people in bowl cuts and teddy bear costumes don't band together to blow my ass up. But if they do, I’m ready.

So anywho, please take a moment and add my new blog to your favorite reader:

Visit KyleMcFarlin.com now

And while you're there, take a moment and add me on your favorite social media networks, which are linked at the new site:

Visit KyleMcFarlin.com now

And if that weren't enough, you can sign-up for the Kyle McFarlin newsletter at the new website (if you already signed up for the Visual Strategist newsletter, you're good as it is the exact same newsletter from the exact same person, under a different title).

Visit KyleMcFarlin.com now

Thank you for your years of loyal readership (If it's not true, I'll never catch you), and please enjoy my new website / blog. I will be getting pretty unhinged when everything gets going, but you will never personally be in danger, and that's everything. Think of me like a nerdy Charles Barkley who can't ball (maybe not as witty either). But certainly as smart-assed. Again, you're welcome.

Go Kyle!

 

Visit KyleMcFarlin.com now

A lesson in sexy fried hypocrisy

I have nothing to say this month, and since the one month guarantee I gave a while back stipulates I must blog monthly or let you know I won’t… boom, hypocrisy on this issue avoided.

I just have nothing to say. Except Ohio’s weather is weirder than usual. Way weirder. I rode through an Alfred Hitchcock movie of confused birds the other day.

But I guess there is a business lesson in here somewhere and so here goes: I made a commitment to you I would do something: My mind is an empty vessel right here, right now, so I’ve come up short. But at the same time, I’m earning your trust even more so by doing what I said I would do if I didn’t do what I ideally should have done (Did that make anyone else think of Chris Brown’s ‘Look at Me Now’ ?).

So take note if you’re a marketer or just tired of flakiness: You now trust me more because I’m handling sloth properly.

Starbux and Hot People Who Admit They Know ME

Yes, I be lovin’ the Starbucks. Only place I like better than Chipotle.

I was feeling extra lazy this month about writing a blog post... And then my friend Becky (who along with her boyfriend Derek are like escaped models set free in Ashland) decided to write a blog post featuring me, which made my ego swoon. It features a few random statements I made about the Starbucks environment and patrons along with a couple of dialogues we had with our friend Felipe. I give you Kyle Unplugged:

kyle at starbucks

Happy new year, and drive safely (really and truly please do).

Go Kyle!

 

Yes Becky, Derek has a naked beard (nothing in the middle).

My Gift to You: Look Leggy in Leggings not Lumpy

Ladies,

I come to you today with a serious topic of discussion. There is still time to save things. If you act now. Here goes…

You need to think very, very, very carefully about the leggings as pants ladies. And just to be clear, I’m referring specifically to leggings worn as pants, not as part of an outfit where they fit the role of panty hose or something like that. And before you accuse me of wanting the fairer sex in beekeeper’s suits, let me unequivocally state that I enjoy shorts, skirts, even skorts, sweat pants (selectively), sweat shorts, jogging shorts, bikinis, mini-skirts and of course Victoria’s Secret (had to be a tramp stamp). Kyle’s a pig! Who woulda thunk it? [BTW, thanks again for throwing the VS Christmas catalogue away Jeff, good buddy old friend: Now how do I shop for my imaginary gorgeous girlfriend for Christmas?] So now that I’ve established myself as a lusty, chesty guy (think Beauty & the Beast’s Gaston with less muscles and even less accent)…….. holy shit, what is with the leggings without thought of the consequences? I can’t put my finger on what it is that bothers me about them at times. Girls have been wearing skinny jeans forever – I like those. But with leggings, at best the girl deserves to fly herself onto Ibiza in a pink fighter jet with a ‘Mission Accomplished’ banner fluttering in the background… other times the girl misses the island entirely and kills a whale.

(Go Pippa! I approve.)

But there’s something about leggings that are just so… hit or miss. And I can’t even find any trend to the pattern. It’s not a skinny or a curvy thing because some of both succeed and fail in leggings. Like if you think of jeans, basically, everyone looks good in them. But leggings are a different animal entirely. I’ve seen women who could walk runways wearing leggings and looking like strange giraffes for it. And I’ve seen women who I wouldn’t notice a second time turn into Goddesses in leggings. They do strange things to straight-aways and curves… we must strategize…

Actions You Can Take to Make Leggings Your Friend (or at Least Frenemy)

So let me restate, some women do look good in leggings, even epic... You just need to know if you're one of them.  So use the following to ensure there is nothing lumpy or camelly about your holiday swagger, just sweetness like a latte.

1. Check yourself out in leggings - what do you think? Look back and front. That’s right, use the honest mirror, the one you hate for it. Be truthful with yourself. If you’re impressed, proceed to step 2, if not, proceed to step 4.
2. Ask a girlfriend you know will tell you straight up for an opinion of you in leggings. If honest chica gives thumbs up, proceed to step 3. If not, proceed to step 4. 
3. Ask a guy who is in no way dependent on you for the good lovin' and is known for bluntness how you look in leggings. Press him and let him know that no food will be withheld for his candor. If he gives thumbs up, move to step 5. If he doesn’t, move to step 4.
4. Landing Spot 1: Wear yoga pants instead. If you want the leggings look and you still want there to be some mystery about…errr… your calves… yoga pants are where it’s at. All the hotness and they don’t tend to make girls look weird.
5. Landing Spot 2: Wear the leggings and be confident. You earned it because you passed through my steps, Candyland-style. Just try to stay calm if a guy stares because merchandise is being paraded Vegas-style: It’s like when a girl has a paragraph across her chest or butt: I’ve earned the right to read.

Because I haven’t talked about mind mapping much for awhile (even though I’m dealing with it professionally more than ever) I would have liked to in this post, but I just can’t talk about it right now… but wait for it.

So I hope I’ve given the ladies the ultimate gift of looking hot for the Holidays… you’re welcome.

 

Happy Holidays!

Go Kyle!

What do you think?

Leave a comment below and let me know.

 

(NOTE: Thank you Mandi for helping me think this issue through and the yoga pants idea.)

Two Ton Middle Finger Spotted

 

The Jackass or Not?

The following happened somewhere in the vicinity of 1 year ago.

I was driving through North Central Ohio on a nice summer day. Wind in my hair, Backstreet Boys Lil Wayne bumping, all that stuff… When what should emerge in front of me on the road? Why its a pickup truck loudly branded with the logo of a local realtor. Not only a local realty company mind you but a local realtor who has featured HIMSELF as the brand… on the side of his truck. I mean, we’re talking about one of those guys who puts his mugshot everywhere he can. And here’s the kicker. Are you ready for it? Here we go: Whoever was driving it was in full-on asshole mode. Not the kind where you get the feeling they're on their way to the hospital to have a baby. No, the kind where they believe they are king of the road and you’re just lucky to be a witness to it. And we Ohioans are weary of being witnesses, believe me.

Now I actually thought of not telling the story because I can no longer remember the details of what made it such interesting asshole driving. Who wants to read about a sucky driver when you can't even remember any of the Smoky and the Bandit-esque details, right? Then I was thunderstruck this morning with the realization that THAT is the message to tell you: I can't remember the experience all that well, it’s just one of those consolidated memories you carry around with you… What I do remember and will take with me forever is the logo on the side of the truck and the local realtor who was forever branded in my mind by professional-grade, jolly jackass driving techniques.

So, let's recap. The message on the side of the truck read something like: ‘Hi I’m Jon Doe, I can afford to have a pickup truck custom painted. Also, I’m a good looking guy so here’s my face to boot. Further, I can afford a plush truck payment, which means I am reliable and can get things done. So you should list your house with me and/or buy one from me!’ Great message, bring on the 50’s ranch. On the other hand, whoever was driving the company pickup truck, be it the person themselves, an employee or family member, essentially was saying this through a blowhorn on behalf of the realtor: 'Hi I'm Jon Doe. I don’t care what you think about me or my company and to show you that, I’m going to drive like Grand Theft Auto and to hell with your family and your safety. To sum it all up, enjoy the view of my dual middle finger salute and have a super swell day bitches!'

Look, you may be wondering why I'm not naming the realtor in question. Fact is, I don't know him personally, indeed a d-baggish employee or family member could have been driving the pickup. Hell, maybe his son or daughter just got their license and grabbed the truck without him even knowing. So I don’t know the situation and it may have never happened again…

Nevertheless though, Jon Doe the realtor has a problem. His market is a relatively small town and I thought it through more than most people would: Most people would just assume it’s him driving. And that’s really bad because people make split second decisions all the time, and anyone who saw the guy and didn’t think it through would never consider taking their business to him.

So here are some tips to follow if you’re thinking of making yourself into the visible brand when your driving around town bumping.

Jackass Avoidance Tips

· Tip 1: Look, don't stick your brand or picture on a vehicle unless you plan on driving like you're taking the Queen and her purple hat wearing friends out to the early bird special. I'm not claiming driver sainthood, I'm just claiming I'm not going to put my marketing message on my damn vehicle unless I'm going to drive like I have a halo over my car.

· Tip 2: And even if you do vow to drive like a saint and consequently put your branding on your Hummer... don't ever, ever ever EVER let anyone drive it who will not uphold the message you want to convey to prospects and customers. Because the second that vehicle is seen swerving after leaving a bar at 3 in the afternoon... who knows... your brand could be tarnished. All anyone sees is YOU drunk, even if it's someone else driving the vehicle.

· Tip 3: If you are in an edgy business of some sort, some of this may not apply to you. For instance if you are selling energy drinks, then it's better you look awake when you drive... Still, there is a colossal difference between looking awake and peppy, and driving like a living middle finger.

What do you think? Am I being too judgmental or am I right?

Technorati Tags: Kyle McFarlin,Realty,Ohio

The Dark Kyle Rises

That title sounds like a Viagra commercial. I am tan right now… still that’s sad and funny. Are you as tired as I am of hard-on commercials spoiling classic blues and rock songs? I can no longer listen to Elvis’ ‘Viva Las Vegas’ with integrity (if that was ever possible). Or Howlin Wolf’s ‘Smokestack Lightning’. I am angry: Look I love anything that brings two people who care for eachother together, please just stop making these weird associations in my mind! And stop airing them at 3 o’clock in the afternoon: I pity the father who has to explain the term ‘erectile dysfunction’ to his 7 year old while trying to enjoy a ballgame together.

And Cadillac destroyed Led Zeppelin’s ‘Rock and Roll’ for me ages ago. I love Cadillacs. I love the song ‘Rock and Roll’. THEY DO NOT GO TOGETHER.

Okay, back on topic: Anyone else think the best part of the new ‘Harry Potter’ movie was ‘The Dark Knight Rises’ preview? I’m a Harry Potter fan, and the movie has not been completely effective when I’m rooting for Voldemort the whole time. I mean, I wanted Harry to go down with Tony Montana ‘say hello to my little friend’ gusto, but I still wanted him to go down. At least Ron put the mack down on Hermoine I guess. I think there was something about the pacing that threw me. Who knows. And now I’m off topic again.

Back to the Dark Knight Rises. I get the impression that Batman may throw his gear back on and kick the hell out of a returning Arnold Schwarzenegger as Mr. Freeze… or Tom Hardy as Bane. And Batman better get a date with Catwoman because he’s been rather romantically challenged in this trilogy so far. The preview for the movie is effective in referencing that part of the Hero’s Journey that Joseph Campbell and Christopher Vogler would refer to as ‘Ordeal, Death & Rebirth’. In the preview, Commissioner Gordon is explaining that Batman, who functionally (not physically) died in ‘The Dark Knight’, must return for there to be a tomorrow. It is Bruce Wayne’s choice to rise or not.

The reason I bring up ordeal, death and rebirth? Not because I have any illusions about being Batman (my car is black though), but because this is the first summer where I can legitimately say I’m hauling some ass on Important but not Urgent projects. So, the procrastinator in me has died to an extent, replaced by this annoying image of me with a close-cropped haircut, wearing a suit and keeping me productive. Armani Kyle is a jackass, you heard it here first. And yet I respect him because he makes me play hard in the 4th quarter: The bastard.

So in thinking about my last blog post, I have come through. I have worked my butt off this past month. If I had an aircraft carrier, I’d fly onto it with a Mission Accomplished banner behind me. It’s been that kind of month productivity-wise (Meanwhile my ego streaks across the sky). So now I’m faced with the hardest thing of all: Celebrating my victory, step 3 in my last post. I tell everyone else to do it and yet when it comes down to it, I’m a C- at best on celebrating. Usually it involves driving my happy ass to Chipotle and forgetting what it is I’m celebrating. So here’s advice to myself for enjoying victory.

3 tips to celebrate your recent victory

1) Tell the person in your life who keeps you accountable what you have done and what you are proud of. If appropriate, invite them to the celebration with you. For some reason, talking about it out loud has a solidifying effect, much like the professor who is so brilliant because repeated communication of the content has locked it forever in his / her mind.

2) Have a vocal internal dialogue on the way to your celebration in which you take on the role of a mentor or someone you respect and tell yourself about the accomplishment and why you should be proud of it. If you’re comfortable with this (and in a car, not the subway), actually talk out loud and address yourself. I do this sometimes and I assure you no one is laughing at you, they just think you have a microscopic bluetooth headset on they can’t see.

3) Before doing the celebratory act, frame the celebration in your mind. declare in your mind, ‘I am going to enjoy this as a celebration of ______’. And do so.

Next Actions

· If you’ve done something worth celebrating, follow my above steps. Duh. If you haven’t, do something worth celebrating. Double duh.

·Please RSS my feed if you haven't already. It'll make your life easier by eliminating the need to always be checking back here.

· Feeling generous? I greatly appreciate any bookmarks you want to give me in Digg, Stumbleupon, Delicious, etc.

· Hey if you liked this post or thought it blew, I don't care, tell me something and show me you're alive ;).

Technorati Tags: Kyle McFarlin,Harry Potter,Batman,Joseph Campbell,Christopher Vogler,Procrastination,Mission Accomplished,Victory

3 Tips for Going Luke Skywalker on the Death Star of Summer Procrastination

 

Burritos & Sundresses

It's summertime and most of my motivation, to put it bluntly, is focused on Chipotle, Mountain Dew and girls. It reminds me of that episode of Friends when someone asks Joey what he'd rather give up, food or women? I still have no answer, all I see is a pretty lady in a sundress handing me a Chipotle burrito with steak and guacamole, telling me I won the race. I have no damn clue what that means. Someday this paragraph may be used against me.

Seriously though, and especially given that I live in Ohio, land of the 4 schizophrenic seasons, I don't feel like working at all... and I actually have a lot to do. I have some exciting things going on over the next year (like Chipotle and Mountain Dew), and this is the perfect time to plan for them and get ahead.

If only I had motivation... so in 'continuing the greatness' as Bron Bron would say and blogging monthly, I've written the following to myself in the hope it helps you and I. Even if you don’t work for yourself, summer procrastination is still worth Power Swording.

 

3 Tips for Destroying Summer Procrastination

Tip 1: Make yourself work, at a minimum, 9-5 OR an 8 hour shift

If you need to break it up into 2, 4 hour shifts that's fine. Just do some damn work. Don't take days off just because, ya know, it's summer. I see people do this, and it's bullshit. Especially if you do consulting work like me, this is probably your lightest quarter of the year, making it the PERFECT time to get ahead and position yourself masterfully for the rest of the year and the first half of next.

If your client is having drinks on a beach somewhere and you’re at the office, don't be jealous, be productive. It's the ideal time to do some delayed spring cleaning. More importantly, it's the perfect time to work on those projects that the folks at Franklin Covey would call 'Important' but not 'Urgent'. You know, the project that will actually make you the most money in the long run but gets pushed back because of day-to-day, week-to-week demands.

Tip 2: Use vacation days when you play hooky

If you work for yourself, it means you have a certain amount of passion for whatever you are doing. Which means if you just walk out of the office when there is work to be done, you'll spend the duration of the time feeling guilty. So however you allocate your vacation time, use it if you want to take a day off. Which leads to…

Tip 3: Absolutely DO take some time off in summer to celebrate good work

Look, I live in Ohio. We have the 4 seasons. I'd be nuts not to take SOME time off in summer. Also, as I said before, a lot of clients tend to go on vacation this time of year so the opportunity is perfect. To make them count for even more, use them to celebrate milestones and accomplishments for the work you are doing. The ultimate albacore around your neck is a vacation day you spend feeling guilty about lackluster performance. So take time off to celebrate having played hard all 4 quarters of the game that is whatever you do professionally. Because you know, PEOPLE RESPECT YOU MORE WHEN YOU PLAY HARD ALL 4 QUARTERS OF THE GAME.

WARNING TO YOU

Ignore these tips at your own peril... Kyle.

Next Actions

· Please RSS my feed if you haven't already. It'll make your life easier by eliminating the need to always be checking back here.

· Feeling generous? I greatly appreciate any bookmarks you want to give me in Digg, Stumbleupon, Delicious, etc.

· Hey if you liked this post or thought it blew, I don't care, tell me something and show me you're alive ;).

Technorati Tags: Chipotle,Mountain,Franklin Covey,Ohio,Summer,Vacation,Kyle McFarlin

Own it Or Disown it, but Never Just Fly Over It

In the past I'd make a snarky remark or joke about not having blogged in a while. This time I'm just plain embarrassed, and for that I'm publicly apologizing to you on the interweb. There's no excuse and it's a bit hypocritical of me ... Allow me to explain.

About mid 2009, when I stopped blogging I was at the point where I'd built up enough long-term clients that I felt I didn't need to blog the way I was before. It was roughly the equivalent of taking the money and running. In my defense I didn't realize this blog was as important to other people as it is (That reeked of ego, I'm leaving it). Even friends who have no connection to the world of mapping have been asking me where I've been hiding. Apparently deep-fried smartass has a strange allure all it's own. I want my own cologne.

Showgirl in Amish Country

The thing I didn't consider is some of the clients I am coaching on goal management, especially the marketers, look at me like a showgirl in Amish country when they find out I blog... every 2 years. And part of what attracted the clients I have to me in the first place was at least the vague faith that I would at least have a blog post up in the same year it in fact is. I absolutely hate blind hypocrisy, which I'm now realizing how staggeringly I've been guilty of. How am i supposed to preach relentless consistency in GTD, goal management, product development, process systemization and self-discipline when I'm not even showing it to the world on my main communication platform? How will snarky angels get their wings?

Little side note: Self-aware hypocrisy is the guacamole on the Chipotle burrito that is life especially when your mind resembles a centrally planned corporation as much as mine does. Yes, I just compared myself to General Electric - Deal. And don’t get yourself into to trouble, I’m talking about dancing when you would normally play Halo, not driving backwards down I-95.

Naturally, if I wanted to avoid hypocrisy I could also declare my blog dead. For reasons science cannot explain I WANT to blog. I've got the fever like Robert Duvall in the Apostle!!! There, I said it. I want to be a loud voice and a place where my love of fried chicken can live forever. Before, even when I was blogging I never really and truly took ownership of it. My start in blogging had been the idea of others, and now it's time to scream from the mountain tops (okay, hilltops in Ohio) that I want to blog and I own it. That's right Charlie Sheen, I'm an F-22 who wants you to star in Apocalypse Now Part Deux for all you have recently put me through.

So here's my commitment to you: I'll blog monthly or tell you explicitly if it will be longer. I know that doesn't sound like a lot but at least you have a consistent timeline from me. Most importantly I have a consistent timeline from me: Don't look at me that way, I'm the one who has to shave this face every 4th day.

The Lesson of Goodness – Boy Scout Reborn… Awwww

Here's today's lesson extracted from my past as a deadbeat blogger: You'll be mediocre as long as what you're doing is built on the behest of someone else. Even if someone else started you down the path, at some point you must consciously take ownership. And if you're skeptical, just think about the different results people get when weight loss or quitting smoking is their idea or someone else's. The self-starter is often a missile on a mission, ultimately celebrating new life as skinny and smoke-free (she looks hot in my head). The imposed upon is a chain-smoking Jabba the Hut, resentful and doing the minimum necessary to preserve the relationship with the person whose idea the initiative was.

So if you're doing something at someone else's request, figure out if it's something you should be doing. If not, get out a.s.a.p.. Life's too short as they say (Who are they?). If so, make it yours because the day you take ownership... Watch out, freight train of YOU coming through! Not corny at all.

What do you think? Is taking ownership really that important? Leave a comment below.

PS: Big ups to Mark & Shelly for the steadfast encouragement to bring my online personae back to life: You are as true of friends as can exist. And you too Dr. Brian Friedlander.

Technorati Tags: Kyle McFarlin,GTD,mind mapping,hypocrisy,goals,self-discipline

Michael Scherotter interview with Ice Cube

Mindjet alumni and Microsoft maverick Michael Scherotter recently had the opportunity to interview my childhood friend (I wish) Ice Cube. On a serious note, I'm a HUGE fan of hip-hop, and Michael got a once in a lifetime chance here that I can't help but envy:

http://channel9.msdn.com/ShowPost.aspx?PostID=390405

I appreciate the depth of Cube's thinking on what technology means to the musical landscape. And I wonder if he'll use the Zune? If not, he can send it to me with a car adaptor.

Check it out now:

http://channel9.msdn.com/ShowPost.aspx?PostID=390405

Technorati tags: Mindjet, Microsoft, Michael Scherotter, Ice Cube, Zune

Before I get Stoned in Starbucks by Readers for Using a Computer

In my interview on the Personal Productivity Show, I took great pains to say that one day a week, you should get off of your computer and not work for an ENTIRE DAY. Hot damn and oops, I think I may have shot my big mouth off too soon about turning the technology off. Look, if your idea of a great Saturday is making some computer music or playing some computer games, more power to you... that's hobby, not work. The last thing I want to do is destroy your enjoyment of the one day per week you tell your work where it can go, so if I spoke hastily, my apologies.

And in a lot of ways this is a CYA (Cover-Your-Ass) blog post as I was talking about me above when I said computer music and games (Seriously, I do mind mapping for a living: What the hell were you expecting, running with the bulls and shark fishing?). So, before I get booed out of the local Starbucks, I thought I would give you the insight that my original intention in telling you not to work/touch a computer 1 day per week was since most of you are desk jockeys, the easiest way to free you was to remove the enabler, your computer.

Turns out, this angers a lot of us who have hobby-related stuff on our computers. So... If your hobby is on your computer, orders from headquarters are for you to go crazy with it on your next full day off. Just don't give me any BS about your work being your hobby as an excuse to work. Even if originally it was a mere hobby, it's now a full-time gig and you need a different hobby to keep from going crazy (or too crazy if you're already there). Further, if you love your work and do it passionately 60-100 hours per work, one day a week is needed for proper brain elasticity (I'm not a scientist, but the brain does feel stretched at times). Just make sure you don't check e-mail or do any work. Repeat after me, 'E-mail & Work can kiss my ass on (Day you take off) '. There you go.

I know I'll be hobbying it up on my computer this coming weekend, with e-mail and work kissing my rump the entire time.

If you have any feedback, please leave a comment as there's still a part of me that thinks the computer ought to stay off completely one day per week if for no other purpose than change of scenery. What do you think?

Technorati tags: Kyle McFarlin, Saturday, Personal Productivity Show, Email, Work